If I Stay
by my-wolfee
Summary: After discovering Bella's pregnancy, Edward breaks things off and moves far away, leaving her and Renesmee behind. Five years later, they are reunited and are forced to confront their past mistakes. However, as Nessie and Edward's bond grows, Bella realizes her love for him and commits to never letting anything come between them again...until he introduces his fiancee. AU/AH
1. Preface

**A/N- Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned within the following story. Also, any distinct similarities to the Twilight Saga, are under the rightful ownership of Stephenie Meyer. However, the original story line is mine and is not to be tampered with, reproduced, or copied under any circumstances.**

**The entire story is in Bella's POV**

* * *

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain._

* * *

If there was something I would always remember about Rosalie Hale, it was her notorious way of incorporating ingenuous clichés into her every day life. She was simple like that and believed that life should be that way too-easy, predictable, and quite frankly-stereotypical. It was her novelty way of understanding whatever situation was dealt her. Whether analyzing her most recent break-up or simply waiting in line to pay for an old leather handbag from the thrift shop, she had a reasoning for it.

"Another man's trash is another man's treasure," she would say, waving a perfectly manicured finger in my face as we entered the musty store-room. I would wrinkle my nose in disgust at her insistence on scavenging through such filthy clothing especially considering such luxurious taste as hers, but comply anyway, recognizing her mock truth in the matter.

Her favorites, however, were more abstract, the ones with "double meanings" as she would often say. She enjoyed the deep thought, how that in such simple statements, such depth and truth lied beneath them. _Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass_, my closest friend would instruct me, _it's about learning how to dance in the rain. _

I shook my head in response. It was easy to say for someone who had lived such a charmed life as Rosalie. She had been born beautiful and raised likewise. As the daughter of an internationally known fashion designer and a high-class businessman, she was without a doubt prone to receiving the best that had to be offered. All throughout high school, she had always held herself a little higher than the rest of us: sneakers had been replaced with the finest Italian heels; fast food had been just as unappealing to her as raw sewage, and anything with the word "public" in it she had deemed "incredibly filthy and a complete hazard to anyone with an ounce of sensibility and sophistication."

She was the sort of person guys loved and girls wished they could be.

So it is no surprise that within the short four years after high school, she had still maintained her high social status. She had successfully glided through university and had even managed to graduate as one of the top students in her class. Within months, she had landed an amazing PR job and shortly after, met the love of her life, Emmett Cullen, and was to be married in the upcoming fall.

"It must have cost a fortune!" Angela Webber gushed, admiring the shiny, new engagement ring that adorned Rose's slender finger. "You must let us try it on!" The other girls shrieked in agreement, swooning around the glowing bride to be.

She drew back her hand politely in refusal. "I hear that's bad luck, and I will have none of that on my wedding night!" She turned toward me, a gentle smile playing on her lips. I recalled the night before when we had gone through a list of pre-wedding superstitions. She had taken the time to note each one (even the sillier ones such as boiling rocks in a pot the night before the wedding to ensure good weather) and gave each serious consideration. The whole thing had been quite ridiculous yet enjoyable nevertheless. As if Rosalie, of all people, needed more luck.

I glanced around the room, acknowledging the solid turnout for the couple's engagement party. As she had predicted, nearly the entire guests list had arrived, and some had even brought company of their own. The Hale's house was completely packed from corner to corner with drunken, bubbling excitement.

By ten o'clock that evening the crowd had slowly begun to disperse. The remaining women had been gathered into the living room with the couple while their male counterparts had collaborated outside on the patio, enjoying the cool summer night. Emmett pulled Rose beside him on the couch before turning his attention to the pile of gifts that had been scattered at his feet. He picked up the first, a neatly wrapped pink box with a silver bow.

He plucked the card from its side. "From Jessica." He read aloud before opening the gift. He smiled in seductive pleasure, revealing a large box of latex condoms. "Perfect." He turned to Rose and brushed his full lips along her ear.

Rose's cheeks flushed. She halfheartedly thanked Jessica and quickly moved on to the next.

There wasn't a moment that passed by where I didn't wish to have shared in some of Rosalie's good fortune. My parents had divorced when I was eight years old, and after running away with an aspiring major league baseball player, my mother hadn't kept in much contact. The last I had heard, they were living in a beautiful home somewhere in sunny Jacksonville and were expecting their first child together. My father, Charlie, however, had reluctantly taken me under his wing and honestly did the best he could in raising me. But between his long hours at the police station and all the work he did investigating, we hardly spent much time together except for on game nights in front of the television. Life post-Renee disinterested him. It was as though she had taken his literal heart when she had left him, all capability to love was gone. "There's no point in trying to set me up, Bells," he murmured, paying little to no attention to the online dating commercial between innings. "There's no one else for me." His hand absent-mindedly drifted to his ring finger, twisting the worn gold band.

_Until death do us par_t, the words rang in my mind. To this day, he hasn't removed it and I haven't questioned his doing so. Charlie wasn't as much convicted by his belief in the sanctity of marriage but rather his belief that in a world filled with billions of people, there was only one other person that truly mattered, only one soul worth finding-his soul mate. What else could explain his tireless longing, the feeling of inevitable incompetence? "Fate isn't kind to everyone, Bella. The world's gonna conspire against you. It's gonna try to keep you apart," he had once explained. "But when you know they're the one. You have to fight for what matters most."

A loud knock at the door interrupted my train of thought and suddenly, Rose's eyes grew wide, a look of apology flashing across her face. I stared back, puzzled at her tumultuous expression, before turning to retrieve the door.

"You're just in time, they're..."

In that instant, I froze. My mouth tasted metallic, my tongue heavy with fear. I gaped at the sight before me and blinked twice, assuring myself that it was not some strange mirage from the past. His emerald greens eyes held mine, and the incapability to speak overwhelmed me. His voice was the same touch of velvet that caused a shiver up my spine. "Bella." I felt my knees growing weak as his mouth twisted into a familiar warm crooked smile. "It's nice to see you again."

His name was foreign to my lips, my voice barely audible. "Hello, Edward."

* * *

**A/N- Not enough Edward? I know, but just be patient, my loves. These are just mere glimpses into what I have in store. There will be plenty of him in the next couple chapters! **

**Reviewers get to experiment with Emmett's new engagement gift;) **


	2. Chapter 1

_I gaped at the sight before me and blinked twice, assuring myself that it was not some strange mirage from the past. His emerald greens eyes held mine, and the incapability to speak overwhelmed me. His voice was the same touch of velvet that caused a shiver up my spine. "Bella." I felt my knees growing weak as his mouth twisted into a familiar warm crooked smile. "It's nice to see you again."_

_His name was foreign to my lips, my voice barely audible. "Hello, Edward."_

* * *

_"The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may die or go in the physical realm,_

_ but they are __always there in your heart __because they helped __form your heart."_

* * *

They said it was the rain, not an unusual contingency in such a dreary place as Forks, Washington. Others say it was just a freak accident, possibly a stray animal frightening the slightly drunken driver to stray off of the road. Whatever the cause, it couldn't be taken back. It was too late for apologies. She was gone.

**_Five Years Prior_**

"Ouch, Alice! I think you just burnt my head!"

"Will you hold still?"

"You've been at this for hours!"

She pursed her lips in concentration. "Just one more second," she dragged out each word while twisting the hot wand around a final strand of hair. "Edward's going to love this! He's not gonna be able to take his eyes off you!"

A small smile escaped my lips, and I rolled my eyes at the thought. I was fortunate to have been welcomed into the Cullen's family. It was the one good thing that had come out of Charlie and Renee's divorce and the only reason I hadn't completely despised my mother for leaving me behind. If it wasn't for her, I would have never met Alice.

_I would have never met Edward._

Even before we had been born, Renée and Esme believed that our relationship was going to be full of promise. The two expecting best friends had predicted it all, laying out each and every detail of our future lives together. Surely enough, their hopes came through and on September 18th, Esme had given birth to a beautiful bronze haired baby boy and merely two hours later, Renée had gone into labor as well. _Oh, Bella, honey, you just rushed right into the world. Premature, too! It was as if you didn't want to go another day without each other,_ Esme would tell us as she tucked us into bed. She refused to waste time telling us of Cinderella and all the other "pretense love stories." We were a fairy-tale of our own, a soon to be happily ever after as she would say.

We had been ever-present in each others lives. We had shared every special moment from taking our first steps together to our first kiss. We were destined to be soul mates, and tonight was the official one year anniversary of our first date. It was a day we had been expecting for quite some time.

"Knock, knock." Esme's beautiful heart-shaped face peeked in through the bathroom door. Her face grew bright with surprise, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "You are stunning, my dear." She brushed her delicate fingers along my powdered jaw line and kissed Alice's pale cheek.

I noticed a weariness in her movements, a stillness in her presence, and I felt instantly worried. "What is it, Esme?" A frown line creased my forehead.

She shifted her gaze to the floor before pulling an ivory envelope from her apron and laying it into the palm of my open hand. "From your mother. It just came in the mail this morning." She swallowed hard. "I hope you don't mind, but I was curious."

I nodded, understandingly. It seemed like hours had passed before I finally tore the letter open, automatically recognizing Renee's undeniable, fine script:

** Married, Bella! Can you believe it? I never thought**  
** it would happen. At least, not again. He is **  
** absolutely wonderful! You would just adore him.**  
** More later. -R**

I fiddled with the small card between my fingers, rereading each sentence slowly and carefully as if there was some secret message hidden between the lines. I flipped it over only to discover that there was no return address. Just the name of a French hotel, though I doubted she had stayed there long. She probably wasn't even in the same country, let alone on the same continent. Renée had never been one to comfortably commit to anything. Boyfriends, clubs, housing contracts-you name it. Once a better opportunity had presented itself, she wouldn't hesitate to oblige despite whatever circumstances were present.

"She sounds happy. I'm glad everything's going great for her," I spat sarcastically, sticking the vanilla colored stationary back into its envelope before crumpling it into a ball. "Absolutely wonderful." I thrust the wad of paper across the room and smirked in satisfaction as it landed into trash can. Perfect shot.

"Don't be too hard on your mom. I'm sure there's not a day that goes by where she isn't thinking of you." Esme forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "She's just been busy."

"Clearly." I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back into my chair. I couldn't stand to hear the two closest people in my life defend Renée after all she had done.

"She's just trying to move on with her life." Alice chimed in, completely unaware of the entire situation. She was always trying to act twice her age, to place herself and her opinions over everyone else. Some would call her spoiled, bratty little princess. It was a flaw of hers, a product of being raised in such a revered family. She rambled on with her obviously pre-meditated monologue. "People change. It is simply the hand of human nature taking its destined course. Cherish the moments that once were."

My fists clenched at my side as I attempted to refocus attention elsewhere, my patience slowly running out. I didn't appreciate her flippancy about the matter. "Leave the sappy pep talks to Rose. I don't want to talk about it."

Since the day Emmett had first introduced his gorgeous girlfriend, Alice had idolized Rose and had secretly sworn to become just like her. Throughout the years, she had faithfully stayed true to her word and lived in Rose's shadow, mimicking everything from her expensive style to the slight southern accent in her golden voice. At one point, she had even tried to grow out her pixie locks to resemble Rose's bouncy shoulder length curls. It was such childlike behavior, something I would least expect from such a sophisticated family as hers, but when it came down to it, that was exactly what she was: a child. Alice was only fourteen years old, the youngest of the Cullens, and three years my junior, making her the most naïve out of our family.

She persisted. "Who even cares? At least you don't have to put up with their crap. You have us now. You're better off. We can-"

I had had enough, and in all fairness, I had warned her that she was treading in deep waters. It wasn't her place to cast her opinions about my relationship-or lack thereof-with _my_ mother. "You don't get it, do you?" I acknowledged the stupidity of my question. "Of course you don't! You've been spoiled your entire life. If you don't know what you're talking about then bud out. It's none of your business anyways."

I had been lost in my thoughts before I realized my mistake. The words had come out harsher than intended, and I instantly regretted them as her big violet eyes slowly flooded with tears.

I was at a loss for words. I was never good at apologies. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-No, Alice-" I reached for her hand, but she fiercely snatched it away from my grasp.

"I was only trying to help!" She stormed out of the room, dropping the curling iron to the floor at my feet.

I started on after her downstairs, leaving Esme gaping at the irrational incident. It was a common thing for sisters to brawl-even though in retrospect, we weren't flesh and blood but nevertheless we been a part of each others lives since the day she was born-but I felt out of place to excuse myself for such behavior. Alice was an overly sensitive spirit, and I should have known better.

I had almost caught up to her as she stumbled through the driveway, but a firm hand caught a hold of my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. "Just let her go," he said. My temper flared for an instant but instantly cooled as Edward's emerald eyes locked with mine. "She's always been one for dramatic exits."

By this time, I had completely lost sight of her as she turned around the block. There was no use in chasing after her now, but I knew he was right. I would apologize to her tonight at dinner after she had cooled off.

He pulled me aside onto the front porch, and we sat on the steps in front of the Cullen mansion. "I see you two had fun," he smiled, his eyes raking me from my head to my toes. "You're look beautiful."

The blood rushed to my cheeks, causing me to look away. He seemed so calm despite Alice's outburst, and I felt the guilt rising to the surface. Out of all the Cullen's, Edward was the most protective of her, considering their five-year age difference. He had been the perfect elder brother, monitoring every aspect of her young life. He couldn't bear to see her hurt. He swept a mahogany curl behind my ear, running his fingers down my neck.

I dropped my attention down to our intertwined hands and sucked in a deep breath. "What's wrong?" He asked, flashing an assuring smile in my direction. His voice was so innocent—so painfully innocent. Like there wasn't a care in the world, like I hadn't hurt Alice at all.

Unwilling to look him, I shook my head. I noticed the sun starting to set into the west, and my worry started to increase. It would be dark out soon and I could see the rain clouds beginning to form. I whispered a silent prayer beneath my breath.

He brought his face close to mine and cupped his hand underneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Don't even worry about. She shouldn't have been speaking out of line." He dropped his hand dismissing the subject and began to dig deep into his pocket, pulling out a small black box. He held the small case before me. "Open it."

I pushed his hand aside clearly more interested in following after Alice than going through with today's planned events. He chuckled at my stubbornness and did so himself, carefully pulling out a silver sterling necklace. He let it fall between his fingers, dangling it before my eyes in the dim sunlight. It glimmered brightly before me. "It's beautiful," I murmured still enraptured in the sight of it. He smiled crookedly in delight, undoing the latch before swiftly placing it around my neck. I held my wavy locks in a makeshift ponytail as he adjusted the length. "I love it."

My heart skipped a beat-the simple ways he used to make my heart tingle with longing, the nonchalant way he reminded me how much I loved him-it was too much. As I leaned in to kiss him, I felt everything slip away...all my cares...all my worries...something about Alice...

* * *

Everything after that remains a complete blur of events. By dinner, Alice still hadn't returned, and the rain had begun to pour furiously outside, a clear indicator that a severe thunderstorm was approaching.

I tried my hardest not to let my emotions get the best of me as I watched Esme frantically pace around the room, clenching her phone in a tight fist. Carlisle, Emmett, and Edward had gone out into the storm in search of Alice. They had been driving for two hours already, and there was still no trace of her. Not even police had been able to locate her. My constant reassurances became my practical mantra after repeating the same words over and over: _Everything's going to be okay. Alice will be just fine._ She would carefully flash her pearly whites in my direction and remind me that it was the duty of a mother to worry and that she knew her little girl would be coming back in one piece. I knew she was lying; it was evident in disposition.

I hadn't been able to sleep that night, and neither could Esme. We sat perched on the couch in the living room, waiting for our phones to light up. Waiting to hear that Alice was safe and sound, that she had just run off to Rose's house, that she hadn't meant to scare us.

The door bell was the only thing to break the silence between Esme and I, but the tension only grew with each step as we both approached the door. My heart was pounding in my ears as I opened the door until to reveal a soaking wet, Charlie.

I hastily pulled him in, hugging him close to my chest. The tears began to run down my face in pools. I didn't even care that we were soiling the perfectly, clean white rug beneath us. It wasn't until moments later that I realized that Charlie, too, was crying, purple circles lining his bloodshot red eyes. "Dad, what is it?"

He kept shaking his head, ignoring all my questions. "Is she okay? Did you find her? Where is she?" I persisted.

I grabbed his face between my hands, but instantly pulled back, inhaling the cold look on his face. His expression was hard and weary, and I could feel all my senses beginning to dull. It seemed like ages before he finally answered me, his hoarse voice ringing in my ears.

"She's dead, Bella."

* * *

**A/N- Don't hate me, but I had to. Thanks for all those who reviewed/followed/favorited. It means the world to get such positive feedback. One question I got was concerning Rosalie's role in the overall story. While I intend on having Rose to play a somewhat major part (especially now that Alice is no longer an option), the main point of the prologue was to include the overall theme of the story hence the cliche I incorporated: "Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, but learning to dance in the rain."**

** But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure where this story is headed, so I would love to hear your guys' ideas. It would be a tremendous help! Feedback is much appreciated!**

**x my-wolfee**

**Reviewers get to comfort Edward in his time of need.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N- For all of my wonderful and faithful followers, I just wanted to let you know that I posted the full summary on my profile. It gives a little bit more insight on where I'm headed with this though nothing is set in stone. Like I mentioned earlier, I don't have a full idea of how this is going to go, and I would love to hear your ideas (you all inspire me). Prepare for twists and turns, my loves. I even surprise myself sometimes with the stuff I come up with. Lots of Edward/Bella toward the end of the chapter, but that's all I'm going to say ;) R&R**

* * *

_I hastily pulled him in, hugging him close to my chest. The tears began to run down my face in pools. I didn't even care that we were soiling the perfectly, clean white rug beneath us. It wasn't until moments later that I realized that Charlie, too, was crying, purple circles lining his bloodshot red eyes. "Dad, what is it?"_

_He kept shaking his head, ignoring all my questions. "Is she okay? Did you find her? Where is she?" I persisted._

_I grabbed his face between my hands, but instantly pulled back, inhaling the cold look on his face. His expression was hard and weary, and I could feel all my senses beginning to dull. It seemed like ages before he finally answered me, his hoarse voice ringing in my ears._

_"She's dead, Bella."_

* * *

_"These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume."_

* * *

No one was entirely sure how it had happened. There had been no witnesses, but the skids marks and human road kill decorating the road had been enough evidence. Alice had been hit by an oncoming vehicle. The detectives said she had had to have been lying there in the rain for several hours before Emmett had spotted her broken body crumpled underneath her torn, fuchsia pink jacket, hurriedly gasping for small intakes of air. The car had caused severe injuries, permanently damaging the nerves in her limbs, breaking bones all along her right side, and fracturing her skull in several areas.

By the time the ambulance had arrived, it had been too late. She had died right there in the middle of the road by Forks High School in Emmett's embrace. He had been the last person to see her alive. Carlisle had struggled through her autopsy. It was clearly evident to him that if she had managed to survive, she would have been completely paralyzed from her neck down. She would have been stuck in a hospital bed and/or a wheel chair the rest of her life and would never be able to walk again. It was the only favor the unknown driver had done her. A quick, clean kill. She wouldn't have to suffer with the physical and emotional pain for the rest of her life.

None of us had been able to comfortably sleep that night, the abundance of emotions clawing at our insides. Guilt, anger, sadness, hatred-it was too difficult for any of us to process how we felt at that particular moment.

By seven o'clock that same morning, we had gathered into the dining room for breakfast, and I could feel the tension rising between us as we all beheld the empty seat between Emmett and I. The sickness in my stomach was far too overbearing to contain, and even though my stomach was roaring in protest, I couldn't eat. I swirled my spoon around the now mushy cereal, quietly noting that I wasn't the only one. Four other bowls had still remained untouched.

There was an unusual disconnection between us as we all sat in silence. Saturday mornings were often the most upbeat since it was the only day of the week that Carlisle didn't have to be at the hospital early, but it wasn't soon enough that I realized the ridiculousness of my expectations. There was nothing about today that gave any of us reason to be happy. We had lost one of the most special people in our lives. Alice had meant something different to each of us.

For some reason, I had expected Carlisle to have taken the news the easiest. I could imagine that death wasn't an uncommon sight for him considering that he was one of the top cancer doctors in the Forks and Seattle area. Over the years, he had witnessed several of his patients, young and old, pass on, and in each situation, as caring and sensitive as he was, he had to maintain composure. No matter how attached he was to a patient, when the time came to pronounce their terminal condition, he had to hold it in for the sake of said patient's friends and family. But his own daughter had impacted him in a way that words couldn't even explain. I cringed each time he silently broke down into tears at the table, burying his face into his wife's hair.

Emmett, too-as bulky and muscular as he was on the outside-evidently had a softer heart than we had once thought. Usually loud and boisterous, his typical "vacuum" diet had been suppressed this particular morning, and though he hadn't had dinner last night either, he refused to eat. Ten minutes into breakfast, he had startled us by pounding his fist against the wooden table, the fierce rattling of our utensils causing our attention to slip only for a moment. Tears stinging his small, almond eyes, he muttered something I hadn't quite been able to hear, and stormed off to his room, slamming each door and cabinet in his path.

Esme was the only one that hadn't been shaken by his episode even though he had shattered some of her favorite china tableware in the process. She was far too lost in her own personal feelings to care for anyone else. Her eyes had dried now, her smeared mascara the only indicator that she had been crying harder than the rest of us. Was it possible to actually cry yourself dry?

I turned my attention to Edward last, afraid to see the hatred lingering in his disposition-or at least that was what I had been expecting, but when I looked, it wasn't there. I searched deeper, trying to detect any trace of emotion. There wasn't one. Rather than sitting beside me as he usually did, Edward had taken Rose's spot directly across from me. My mind flashed to the moment when Emmett had finally reached her over the phone and delivered the news. Before he had even finished explaining the incident, she had hung up on him mid sentence, mumbling through tears that she was sorry but she couldn't bear to hear anymore. Alice had been like a sister to her.

I hated myself for thinking it but I had to be honest with myself: I cared more for Edward's reaction than I did about Alice's death. As an aspiring lawyer, I could see myself propped up at the defendant's pulpit standing before a jury of my friends and family, their disgusted faces burning into my conscience. They cast their disapproving glares and spat angrily:

_How could you be so self centered? Your best friend just passed away and all you care about is whether or not Edward is going to break up with you because you practically pushed her into the street?_

_If you wouldn't have let your temper slip, she wouldn't have run away. She would still be here._

_The Cullens have always been there for you and you just ruined their lives! Have you anything to say for yourself?_

_Sorry doesn't cut it. It's too late for apologies._

The room began to spin, and I quickly excused myself to the bathroom before lurching over the toilet. I gagged at the guiltiness overwhelming me. It was true: if it wasn't for me, Alice wouldn't be dead.

I heard the door open behind me and cursed beneath my breath. "One second." Panicked, I quickly wiped the saliva on my mouth with the back of my hand, and turned to see an emotionless Edward standing behind me. His expression was hard as he held a glass of water out toward me.

I spat into the toilet. "Go away, Edward. You don't need to see this."

I waited for his protest, insisting me not to be so stubborn, but he remained silent. Instead, he merely dumped the water into the sink and left with the glass without saying a word. He couldn't hate me. We had been through too much to let something like this come between us, I reasoned to myself.

I flushed and returned to my soggy Cheerios.

* * *

Edward stayed cooped up in his room the entire day, and hadn't come to lunch or dinner. I knew I wasn't going to be able to force him to eat, but around midnight, I brought up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a bottled water along with me. "Edward, open up. You need to eat." My hands hindered me from knocking at the door.

No reply. "Edward!" I positioned the bottle at my elbow, freeing one of my hands.

I knocked repeatedly, but once again, there was no reply even though I heard the TV in his room was on and the light from his lamp peeked through the crack beneath his door. "Edward!" I raised my voice and knocked more viciously. "I know you're in there."

I tried twisting the knob, but it was locked. Edward never locked his door at night just in case I decided to join him-which was the case, most nights. "Will you stop ignoring and just come to dinner. This is ridiculous."

After the third attempt, I gave up on him, and pulled a bobby pin out of my hair and tried picking the lock. It was something Emmett had taught me once when Edward had stolen his favorite pair of pajama pants. I sighed in relief when I heard the infamous click and nudged his door open, only to see that it was empty.

I peered out his window that overshadowed the driveway and noticed that his car wasn't parked in his usual spot beside my red Chevy truck. _He's not here..._ I lurked around his room, searching for some kind of clue as to where he could be. He didn't really keep in touch with anyone outside of school. He had to be by himself, but he couldn't be. Not this late at night.

I shut off the lights and the TV and set the food aside before crawling into his king sized bed. His bed was cold and the sheets were untouched, indicating that he hadn't slept at all. I threw the sheets over my head. I was going to wait for him to come home, and we were going to talk about this. I wasn't going to let this ruin our relationship. I was determined to get through this.

* * *

A loud crash suddenly awoke me, and I heard footsteps beside the bed but I couldn't make out anyone's presence. My eyes were slowly adjusting, and I strained to see the green numbers on the digital clock beside me. 3:51 a.m.

"Edward?" I whispered.

More fumbling and hushed cursing. I got up and struggled to make my way towards the light switch across the room, tripping over several of his things before finally turning the lights on. I gasped at the sight of him. He looked completely distraught, his eyes sunken in and his unruly hair blown in different directions. Was he drunk?

I asked him, and a small smile spread across his face. He replied with a straight face. "No, don't be silly." He took three long strides towards me, and wrapped his arms around. I wrinkled my nose, a combination of weed and alcohol wafting in through my nostrils. Edward never lied to me.

His hands inappropriately groped at my chest. This was so unlike him. "You reek." I tried pushing away but his grip on me tightened as he leaned down to kiss me.

I could taste the vodka on his breath as his tongue found its way into my mouth, and I struggled to pull away. He persisted, constantly mumbling in between kisses, begging me to let him continue. The more I resisted, the more forcibly he kissed me.

His lips trailed along my jaw and down my neck. "You're drunk." I was stating the obvious, but I couldn't think of anything better to say. My mind was racing at a hundred miles per hour, the electricity soaring through my body with each kiss. I knew what was coming next, and I was too afraid to stop him. I had never done this before.

Even though we had been dating for a long period of time, Edward and I had never really ever thought about going all the way. We had no desire to rush into things, considering that we had our whole lives ahead of us for that kind of thing. I wasn't even on the pill, and I was sure he didn't have any protection on him as well.

His lips met mine once again as he pushed me down onto his bed. He wasted no time in formalities, stripping us down to nothing as fast as he could. He quickly slipped me out of the oversized t-shirt I was wearing, exposing my half naked body. I wasn't even wearing a bra. Just a pair of black cotton panties. However I was too concentrated on watching him unbutton his clothes to be self conscious. He was beautiful. His light, ivory chest was sculpted and hard, the outline of a six pack starting to form as he worked his way over me.

His breathing increased as he positioned himself over me.

I closed my eyes.

* * *

**A/N- Pretty steamy there, huh? Hope it wasn't too steamy. I would hate to have to change the rating to M. I like to be a bit modest when I write ;) Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if you find any grammar issues. I was so set on getting this up tonight that I didn't really proofread it. More to come!**

**As a writer, I believe that feedback is fundamental to the growth of great authors, and that while negative reviews can be a bit damaging, they can sometimes be more useful and help develop the story and bring it to new heights.**

**Point & Case: I got my first bad review yesterday, and like I said, I don't mind constructive critiques. It really does improve my writing but that doesn't give you permission to totally jump off the edge and straight out trash talk it. Writers are supposed to help each other grow-isn't that the whole point of this site?**

**So next time you decide to write a negative review, EdwardBellaRenesmeCullen, I'd appreciate if you'd keep your trash talk to yourself. If reading my story is a so called "waste of time" then simply move on to the next. I do, however, appreciate you pointing out that I forgot to mention who's POV the entire story is in (though I thought it was quite obvious-but maybe not). So thank you for that. And PS-It's spelled R-E-N-E-S-M-E-E. I can't take your review seriously if you don't use good grammar either.**

**Reviewers get to enjoy some steamy time with Edward ;)**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N- I am not going to lie, my loves. I am not too happy with this chapter. I've been pretty sick this week and a little brain-dead (serious writers block), but you all have been so wonderful, you deserve an update :) Consider this only a filler for the meantime. I promise an amazing next chapter.**

* * *

_"You're drunk." _

_His lips met mine once again as he pushed me down onto his bed. He wasted no time in formalities, stripping us down to nothing as fast as he could. He quickly slipped me out of the oversized t-shirt I was wearing, exposing my half naked body. I wasn't even wearing a bra. Just a pair of black cotton panties. However I was too concentrated on watching him unbutton his clothes to be self conscious. He was beautiful. His light, ivory chest was sculpted and hard, the outline of a six pack starting to form as he worked his way over me._

_His breathing increased as he positioned himself over me._

_I closed my eyes._

* * *

_"And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy; maybe it's you on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, _

_freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on."_

* * *

I had always pictured my first time with Edward to be something memorable. I imagined spending the entire day with him in Seattle, visiting all the cheesy tourist sites and eating at a four star restaurant that night for dinner. We'd be dressed in our Sunday best-suit and tie, stiletto heels, a $300 French handbag that Rosalie had insisted on buying me for the "big day"-the whole nine miles. We'd rent out the honeymoon suite at the best hotel in the area, and slowly lose ourselves in the quietness of our candlelit room...

Renée had always said that I was a hopeless romantic.

I scrambled beneath the sheets, quickly coming to the realization that he had left me alone once again. My body ached as I fumbled my way around, searching for my clothes that had been scattered around Edward's room. I noticed that his from the previous night had been carelessly thrown into the waste bin beside the door. It was the one I had bought him for Emmett's graduation party last year, his acclaimed favorite. I pulled it out and brought the worn fabric to my face. I coughed in disgust. The smell was stronger than it had been the previous night.

I turned to the full length mirror hanging on the back of his door and sighed when I saw two newly formed bruises, one above my right breast and the other, in plain sight, on my neck. I wasn't sure what I expected, to be perfectly honest, but I had somehow thought that I would feel kind of...different. Stronger, more womanly, more independent-I wasn't sure. I recalled the morning after Rose and Emmett had first "sealed the deal." She had been glowing as she pranced around the kitchen, completely oblivious to the world around her. She had been so caught up in the moment that she had payed little attention as she was washing the dishes that morning and had slit her fingers a couple of times. Later in the day I had even found that she had misplaced a few dirty dishes in the freezer by accident. She was more in love than ever, and I just felt so...

Empty.

I pulled my hair out of its messy bun, letting it fall to my shoulders. It barely covered the little mark, but it would have to do for now. I made a quick mental note to borrow some of Rosalie's foundation later before tossing my clothes on and hurrying downstairs to breakfast.

Edward sat by himself with his back toward me, the daily newspaper spread before him. I stood behind him and placed my fingertips into the crevices between his neck and shoulders, carefully massaging him. He was unusually tense and as I leaned in to brush my lips against his ear, I could feel him tremble beneath me.

I tried to be lighthearted regardless. "Well, good morning to you too, grumpy cat." My voice was far too cheerful and chirpy for this early in the morning, and I could detect that he was slightly annoyed. Edward had never been a morning person. "What are you looking at?"

My heart sunk a little when he nudged me away from him and quickly closed the paper. I had only caught a small glimpse, one word sticking out off the page, almost too blatantly: obituaries. "Nothing," he lied and stood out of his seat. "I'm going out."

"Wait," I caught his wrist, and he paused only for an instant. I tried hinting at a seductive smile-the one that Rose nailed every time she wanted something from Emmett-but whether I failed at it or not, it didn't matter. He avoided looking at me. "I just thought we could go out for lunch or something later. Catch up a little bit. We haven't talked in a while."

I cringed at the desperation in my tone. I sounded like a typical, clingy high school girlfriend, but I needed him to satisfy my worries. A smile, a peck on the cheek, a hug-anything to tame the butterflies in my stomach. He hadn't even brought up last night. Was it possible that he didn't remember? Where had he gone? Why had he been drinking? I wanted answers, but he merely shrugged his shoulders and walked off. And somewhere in the deep pits in my stomach, I knew that the Edward I had grown to love was changed forever.

Gone.

* * *

**J U N E**

* * *

**J U L Y**

* * *

"Forget it, Rose. There's no way I'm going to be able to squeeze into these," I whined from the inside of the dressing room as I struggled to button the pair of jeans she had picked out for me. I was scared to even look at the tag, afraid to see what double-digit number was clearly labeled underneath "size". I had gained so much weight over the summer, it was unbelievable.

"No way! That's the biggest pair that they have. Try harder." My heart sunk at her words. I had never really cared about appearances. I thought girls like that were always kind of shallow and vain, starving themselves to keep up with their petite hourglass figures. The Cullens had been my only exceptions to my prejudices. But as I watched Rose neatly slip into several pairs of size 0 shorts and an array of trendy tank tops, I couldn't help but feel jealous as I loosened the drawstring of my sweatpants, my muffin top of a belly spilling over a little. I wanted to cry, my nose growing stuffy at the thought of shopping in the "junior plus sizes" section. I had outgrown all of the more fashionable pieces in my closet and recently had to settle for my typical, old wardrobe: A loose, wrinkled T-shirt, a pair of baggy sweats, and converse. The mustard yellow bag I was carrying seemed completely out of place.

_Just like me._

I avoided her disapproving look as I threw the door open. "Rose, I'm fat. Just deal with it." I didn't even care to put the jeans back on the hangers. Leave it to the skinny shopping assistant who practically burst out laughing as Rose pulled out some of the sexier pairs of clothing for me. Part of me didn't blame her. What kind of guy in his right mind would be interested in me? My own so-called "boyfriend" didn't even want anything to do with me, seeing as we hadn't kissed in months let alone had a real conversation. He was too busy partying and getting drunk with other girls.

I remembered some time in July when I had caught him kissing Jessica Stanley in the back of his Volvo. I had just come home from shopping at the grocery store with Esme just in time to catch the heartless bitch cramming her slimy tongue down Edward's throat. I knew he had seen me; I had been standing there long enough, but he didn't even try to conceal his wrongdoing but rather shifted his body so he wouldn't have to look at me and continued in his lust driven pursuit. We hardly spoke at dinner that night, but when the opportunity arose, he held his casual composure as if he hadn't just been hooking up with one of my closest friend. As if he didn't know that I had caught him in his moment of infidelity. In fact, he never even brought it up; and neither did I. I was afraid of what he would say.

I was sure this wasn't the first time he had cheated on me either. I had seen random posts online, pictures of him sucking face with a different girl each night, whatever taste suited him at the moment. I had read texts and had even caught him sexting once. The number of times I had walked in on him in his room with another girl well surpassed twenty, but he didn't care to break my heart. He knew the strength of his hold on me. He could do whatever the hell he wanted with any girl, and I would still be faithful to him. It was a sad, but obvious truth. He had no shame in it either. This was the new Edward Cullen.

"Shut up. You are not fat!" She scolded me. "In fact, we should probably get you something to eat. You're looking a little green." She headed toward the cash register, dumping her endless pile onto the counter. When the total came up, she completely disregarded it and handed her credit card over.

We headed for the food court in the center of the mall, and the various smells of cinnamon pretzels and cheesy pizza made my mouth water. I was hungrier than I thought.

Rose tapped her chin, observing the many food stands. "What are you in the mood for?" She veered toward Panda Express, but I hesitated. That place was a calorie bomb I didn't need.

I nodded in the direction of the salad bar. "I think I'm just gonna grab something light. I'm not really hungry," I lied, hoping she didn't just hear my stomach growl. I didn't allow her the chance to protest, knowing that I would give in too easily, and stalked off in the other direction.

After paying for my meal, I waited in line next to three paper thin, bronze skinned girls, who looked to be about my age. They were the kind of unnaturally beautiful people with extreme confidence, the ones you couldn't help but be drawn to in public and feel incredibly self conscious next to. I straightened my shoulders, sucked in my stomach, and positioned the Prada bag on my shoulder, making sure it caught their attention. From the corner of my eye, I watched them discuss between themselves before I felt a light, sheepish tap on my shoulder. It was the shortest out of three, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Um, sorry to bother you, but would you happen to have a tampon on you? I think I just got my period."

_Crap._ My mind began to race, a thousand different scenes flashing through my mind. The room began to spin, and I felt instantly sick, unable to sort out any of my thoughts. I gripped my stomach, and hunched over, hurling on the pretty blonde's obviously new Jimmy Choo's.

* * *

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

I sat perched on the corner of Edward's porcelain tub, staring up at the analog clock hanging above the sink where I had left my pregnancy test. It was the longest three minutes of my life.

I was fifteen years old when I had first seriously considered being pregnant. I had been in health class when the oblivious bag of teacher called me out in the middle of class, inquiring of my sexual activity. It was supposed to have aided in her monotonous illustration but instead made me the laughing stock of the entire class when I answered with a timid shake of the head. The fat jiggled from her wrinkled neck as she reprimanded the class and told me I had nothing to be ashamed of. Virginity was a precious gift.

More laughter. I had been glad that this one of the classes me and Edward didn't have together.

Toward the end of class, she she came by each of our desks, handing over a single rubber condom. Several of the guys asked for extras and winked at their girlfriends; their girlfriends blushed back and shook their head in refusal as the teacher came by. I kept my head down as she stopped in front of my desk. The back of my neck felt hot. I could feel her staring down at me, forcing me to make eye contact. "I doubt you'll be needing one of these," She spoke to me first but then turned her attention back to the rest of the class, raising her voice a little. "Consider Ms. Swan a role model to the rest of you. You may just learn something from her." The class burst out laughing as I contemplated whether she intended what she said to be a compliment and was simply naive to teen peer pressure; or she maybe she made me look bad on purpose.

The sound of the door clicking open brought me back into reality, but before I could react, he had already welcomed himself in, taking in the situation before him, the pregnancy test sitting beside its box on the sink in plain sight. I couldn't lie myself out of this one; it was all too clear what I was doing. "What the hell?" He didn't look at me as he picked up the little white tube. His mouth dropped open slightly and he drew in a shaky breath. His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head and let the test drop to his feet.

I jumped up from where I was sitting and ran to retrieve it. My breath caught in my throat as the test revealed two pink lines. It was positive.

"I-I'm pregnant." Tears burst from my eyes.

* * *

**A/N- Well, there you have it. Bella's officially pregnant. And how do you like the new Edward? I'm sorry this chapter was short and kind of crumby. I have terrible writers block, so I would appreciate it if you guys dropped some of your ideas in the review panel. It would be a great help and I would be able to update much faster!**

**x my-wolfee**

**Reviewers get to hook up with Edward in the back of his Volvo.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N- I would just like to take a second to dedicate this chapter to my ex-boyfriend, Zachery. After all that you put me through, you'd think that I'd despise you. But in the end, I wanna thank you 'cause you've made me that much stronger. I'm a fighter and you still suck :)**

* * *

_The sound of the door clicking open brought me back into reality, but before I could react, he had already welcomed himself in, taking in the situation before him, the pregnancy test sitting beside its box on the sink in plain sight. I couldn't lie myself out of this one; it was all too clear what I was doing. "What the hell?" He didn't look at me as he picked up the little white tube. His mouth dropped open slightly and he drew in a shaky breath. His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head and let the test drop to his feet._

_I jumped up from where I was sitting and ran to retrieve it. My breath caught in my throat as the test revealed two pink lines. It was positive._

_"I-I'm pregnant." Tears burst from my eyes._

* * *

_ "Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never at heart."_

* * *

"What the hell?!"His voice seemed distant and far away even though he had been yelling. He bantered on, asking me how in the world I could be pregnant, how I could have cheated on him, _who the father was_...I stood silently before him only half listening. I was still in shock. I couldn't believe it though the evidence was right there before me. _Two pink lines. Positive. Pregnant. _It all made sense now. The food cravings. The muscle sensitivity. Missing my period. The uncontrollable weight gain. I lifted my camisole slightly and ran my fingers along my bare stomach. I knew deep within my heart that I belonged with Edward. There couldn't have been a more perfect person out there for me. I had always pictured us spending the rest of our lives together: getting married, having kids, growing older together. But now we were bound together in a way like never before, our fates were permanently linked to this day, to this child. No matter where we went-wherever our lives would take us-we would always be a part of each other.

Charlie's words rang in my head, _Until death do us part. _

"Bella." He fiercely gripped both my arms, bringing my face close to his. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he gritted his teeth and locked his jaw. My head felt light, and I struggled to maintain my balance. He shook me harder causing me to wince in pain. "Answer me." His green eyes were glazed over in anger, piercing into me.

I swayed myself away from his hold and answered him through lighter tears. "It's yours, Edward." My mind flashed forward, and I could almost feel my baby's presence in my arms. I pictured a baby boy with Edward's wavy blonde hair, the soft ivory skin, the same beautiful emerald eyes, a cute boyish smile. I wanted to cry thinking that in just a few short months, _he _would be mine. I would be the mother of the most perfect baby.

He paced around before slamming the door shut and banging his closed fist against the wall. He leaned his forehead into the door. His back was turned toward me, his shoulders rising and falling as he tried to control his breathing. "You have to get rid of it." The image in my head shattered and my heart started beating faster. He turned to face me, his eyes stinging red. "I'll take you to the doctor. We'll get this thing out of you." He lifted my chin with his forefingers, pleading me. "Please, Bella...I'm too young...I can't do this right now. You have to understand."

I shook my head, my voice breaking as I spoke. "No" I breathed. "I-I can't. I won't!" I backed away from him, gaping at his insistence to kill _our _baby.

His voice softened and became more intimate, a loving expression replacing the apprehensiveness on his face. "Bella," he whispered and I was slowly losing my stance, my confidence sinking. His hands found their way back around me, running his fingers in circles as my elbows. He was trying to comfort me, to get me to listen. "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, but Bella..." He urged me to look at him. "I love you." His voice drifted off as his lips met mine, my body flushing into his. I missed this. _Us. _The reminiscence of his touch dulled my senses, my inability to say no. _Just like the night we slept together..._

But as my mind began to wander, he kissed me harder, pushing me out into the hallway against the wall. I held his face close to mine and wrapped my legs around his lean body. He was stronger than he had been three months ago, his sculpted arms sucking me into his embrace. He carried me into his bedroom and laid me flat onto the gray duvet, working his way over me. He snaked his hands underneath my shirt and unhooked my bra. I mentally noted that he had improved sexually and curiously wondered how many girls he had been with since me. _Practice makes perfect._

I gasped for air, "I love you." He nipped at my neck in response and kissed his way down my collarbone. I felt myself loosening up, giving into him once again. As he slowly lowered my sweatpants down my waist, his lips rested at my ear. "We'll go tomorrow. Together."

"What?" He look at me in confusion as I strained to push him away. I was disgusted with myself for falling into his trap. He was trying to manipulate me into an abortion. I sat up and pulled my pants back into place, tightening the drawstring and knotting it for good measure. My message wasn't exactly subtle, but it was the only way to get my point across and into his hardened skull. My decision wasn't going to waver at all-not even for him. _I was keeping this baby. _"Bella, you can't be serious? You actually plan on keeping this _thing_?"

"Stop calling him that!" My legs were dangling off the edge of the bed, prepared to leave this conversation at any moment. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But then it dawned on me: He wasn't taking responsibility. He wasn't going to be there for me through this pregnancy. I was testing his patience by prancing around the subject at hand. "Yes, Edward." I sighed, finalizing my commitment. "I want to have this baby." I fiddled with my hands and became immediately nervous when he remained silent.

He rubbed his hands into his temples before throwing them down beside himself. "Do you know what this means? For me? _For the both of us?_" He arranged his body in a way so that our foreheads were touching. His skin was hot, his eyes fixed with concern. "You're throwing our lives away!" His voice was stern and hard. He stood up and stared out his window, deep in thought. The sun peeking in deepened the golden copper color of his winding hair. I recalled when we were younger when he would spend nearly hours in the bathroom trying to straighten out the snaky mess on his head. It would never quite stay in place. His wearied eyes were impenetrable but seductive as he turned back toward me, the glimmer in his eyes holding mine as he spoke. I felt my heart breaking as I saw the words forming on his perfect lips. "Then you leave me no choice, Bella. We're done."

The tears flooded my vision and engulfed me. I couldn't speak. I wasn't ready for this. I had tried to be strong, to stand up for myself and for this baby, but I hadn't ever thought that this was how it was going end. I wasn't going to be a single mother, facing the future alone. I tried calling after him as he headed for the door, but my pleas were in vain. He had already made up his mind, and I knew there was no use. Anger flashed throughout his disposition and I could almost see the smoke rising off his shoulders. "Just remember you asked for this."

He flicked the light off to his room. "Good luck." And walked out of my life forever.

* * *

Telling the family had been the hardest thing I had ever had to do.

I called them into the living room. My hand subconsciously grazing over my stomach, the baby bump not being entirely beginning to form yet. Esme stared at me blankly. She looked twenty years her age, her hair was duller and hung stringier around her face. Her eyes, those once beautiful crystal blue orbs, were grey with despair. She looked as if she hadn't smiled in ages. The death of her daughter, the absence of her son-it had taken a toll on her. I felt guilty adding this weight to her already grievous burden.

Charlie had joined the pack as well, seating himself between Emmett and Carlisle. He seemed so incompetent between such two beautiful people, but I was grateful that he had come. _Better to kill two birds with one stone, _Alice would say. It was times like these when I wished she was here. She would have been the first to speak up, to say that she supported my decision. That I'd be a great mother.

I stood before them and folded my hands to keep from fidgeting any longer. "I'm pregnant" I stated matter-of-factly as five pairs of blinking eyes settled on me. I had their attention now.

Rosalie gasped and brought her hand to her mouth, concealing her shock. "Who's the father?"

"Edward, of course."

"There has to be some mistake. You-"

"_There is no mistake." _I felt as though I was standing naked before a thirsty crowd. I could see the hurt looks on their faces as they tried to process what I had just told them. "He's two months old, I'm guessing." I gestured to my stomach. I digressed into the details of that night and explained how sorry I was for bringing this upon them.

By this time Esme had arisen and joined the head of the room with me. She placed a frail hand atop of mine and suddenly I saw the glow return to her face, as if my news had brought life to her rather than the dread I had expected. "We'll get through this." She was the most sincere I had ever seen her. "Together."

* * *

**A/N- Before you all complain about how short this was, let me just say that this IS NOT the "super-totally-amazing" chapter I had promised you guys. Like two minutes after I posted last chapter, my email blew up with a whole bunch of great responses, so this little tidbit was my way of thanking you all for being so awesome. The next chapter should be up within the next couple of days (I usually update every 2-4 days), and I promise you it will be the longest so far! Plus, I'm adding a huge new twist I doubt any of you were expecting (or at least I hope you weren't). It's gonna be good.**

**Also, this chapter concludes the major flashback portion of this story. From this point on, the story takes place five years after Bella's pregnancy. I have a lot planned (thanks to those who have shared their ideas with me) but I am always open to suggestions. S/o to BellaBaby who inspired this chapter:) **

**Goodnight, my loves. I hope you enjoyed! **

**x my-wolfee**

**Reviewers make Edward thirsty to come home.**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N- Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Work has been hectic, and I have had complete writer's block-like lately, I've been completely uninspired.**

**Blank.**

**Stone dead.**

**Nothing-and it sucks. But I'd just like to give a quick s/o to kfoll. You've been my most faithful follower so far, and I really appreciate all your feedback. It's helped tons, so this chapter's for you. You're the best :)**

* * *

_"There is no mistake." I felt as though I was standing naked before a thirsty crowd. I could see the hurt looks on their faces as they tried to process what I had just told them. "He's two months old, I'm guessing." I gestured to my stomach. I digressed into the details of that night and explained how sorry I was for bringing this upon them._

_By this time Esme had arisen and joined the head of the room with me. She placed a frail hand atop of mine and suddenly I saw the glow return to her face, as if my news had brought life to her rather than the dread I had expected. "We'll get through this." She was the most sincere I had ever seen her. "Together."_

* * *

_Our eyes are in front because it's more important to look ahead than to look back._

_ Don't dwell on things in the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward._

* * *

I ran my finger along the cold metal of the picture frame, a sigh of inevitable nostalgia and euphoria washing over me. We were fourteen years old, our wide pubescent smiles filling the camera's lens. The sky had been painted its infamous baby blue and speckled with puffy, smokes of white, kisses of sunlight peeking off our complementing shades of hair, his sun-streaked bronze and my deep chocolate curls. My arms were wrapped around his neck from behind, molding myself into his body as he piggybacked me into the picture Esme had taken one hot, summer day. My sunburnt, appled cheeks were buried into his unruly hair, and a dim line of freckles danced across the bridge of Edward's sharp nose. I saved his eyes for last, knowing I would fall headlong into their jade-hued perfection. It was one of the few decent pictures that had been saved from our childhood and the only accolade of our relationship that Edward hadn't stored away after Alice's death-after he changed.

I was a dent in his new reputation. I scarred the play boy image he wished to convey. I imagined Lauren Mallory's glossy lips pursed in disgust as she, too, eyed the same photograph neatly placed on Edward's dresser. She would feel conflicted at the thought of us together, wondering whether or not I was true competition or not-whether she should be worried-but quickly reassure herself otherwise as Edward would snake his velvet tongue along her collarbone. He'd pull her away and towards the bed, murmuring how she was the only one who mattered, how she was always on his mind, how he had always wanted to be with her-his usual, well-rounded script. He'd brush butterfly kisses around her face, pecking at her dainty nose, her eyelids, her temples, but as fascinated as she was, her mind would wander to _me_, to the picture sitting across the room. He would feel her absence, and kiss her harder, pulling them closer together. But when her unsurity persisted, he would stop-only for an instant to bring his lips up to her ear and whisper the three words she had been longing to hear. And with that, she would push me out of her thoughts completely as he worked his way inside of her, letting him take control the way he liked it. Because he loved her, because they were meant to be together, or so she thought-until he made his way around to the next girl.

I clutched my stomach as I felt a small thud against the walls within, a subtle reminder from my little bundle of joy to forget, to let go of once was. I rubbed along my navel and picked the picture from the dusty counter, resentment replacing all tinges of sympathy for myself. I gripped it harder, the sickened feeling in my gut increasing with each passing second. I closed my eyes and thrust the frame into the wastebasket beside the dresser, the shattering of glass wiping away all the painful memories. It seemed that for every good memory I had shared with Edward, there was twice as many bad ones.

Life without Edward left an inevitable feeling of partiality and despair, like an empty cavity had been carved into my heart. After Renee and Charlie's divorce, Edward had always been there for me. He was my rock, my future, my everything. I had once considered him to be the only reason for my existence, the only reason to pursue a life I had deemed unworthy of continuing. He, in a sense, kept my heart beating. I had my whole life set on marrying him and spending an eternity together. I put everything on the line, gambled for my future, and risked it all. And in the end, I came out empty handed with nothing but a few good recollections to suffice. I had lost all I had ever known.

But considering my loss and my current misfortune, I wasn't completely unhappy. Good things came with Edward's absence.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

* * *

Seth leaned back in his chair, stroking at his imaginative goatee. "I'd give her a nine," he whispered matter-of-factly to Jared and Paul sitting on either side of him.

Paul nodded in agreement. "Nine."

"Hell no. That's Cullen trash. Three at the most," Jared chimed in, not caring enough to keep his voice lowered. Mr. Berty cast a glare in our direction before demanding that he stop disrupting class. Another warning and he'd find a spot for himself in detention. He pretentiously apologized for his behavior but continued in conversation with his friends. He had become so accustomed to Berty's scoldings that it no longer phased him. _Common courtesy _as he would say though I wasn't exactly sure how the two related.

I glanced away from my screen just long enough to catch sight of the timid brunette sitting across the room and recognized her as Isabella Swan. She wasn't gorgeous, wasn't ugly. Her dark chestnut hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, several thick strands of hair curtaining her long heart-shaped face. Her matching colored eyes were deep and sunken in as if she hadn't slept for weeks and her skin was a glowing ivory, that seemed pale compared to her darker features. She looked like a hundred other girls at Forks High except for two things: She wasn't wearing any trace of make up giving her an au natural beauty and she was drowned in hideous baggy clothing which did nothing to conceal the muffin top of fat above her waist. I found out later than she wasn't overweight; it was a baby bump.

_Nine, _I mentally agreed.

More than once throughout the rest of class, I caught myself glancing over at her, curious as to why I hadn't really noticed her before. There was something attractive about her that most girls didn't have, but I couldn't quite point it out. Jared was the one to call me out on it, "Quit staring, man. It's creepy." He nudged my arm. "Why don't you go over there and work some of your_ magic_?"

I playfully slapped his shoulder, wagging my head at his childishness, my eyes never leaving her. _Maybe I will..._

* * *

**Bella's POV**

* * *

_O me, what eyes hath Love put in my head,  
Which have no correspondence with true sight!  
Or, if they have, where is my judgment fled,  
That censures falsely what they see aright?  
If that be fair whereon my false eyes dote,  
What means the world to say it is not so?  
If it be not, then love doth well denote  
Love's eye is not so true as all men's 'No.'  
How can it? O, how can Love's eye be true,  
That is so vex'd with watching and with tears?  
No marvel then, though I mistake my view;  
The sun itself sees not till heaven clears.  
O cunning Love! with tears thou keep'st me blind,  
Lest eyes well-seeing thy foul faults should find._

-Sonnet 148

My head felt heavy as I racked my brain for some possible meaning to Shakespeare's twisted verse. I stared harder at the assignment before me, the words on the page blurring and bouncing off the page. I tried tuning into Edward's clever state of mind. He would have been able to pick apart each segment and have the entire sonnet deciphered in a matter of moments.

I tapped my fingers against the wooden lunch table and took a deep breath. My body tensed. _Focus. Just focus, Bella. You can get through this._

I scripted every thought that came to mind, hoping I'd be able to somehow piece it all together into one uniform idea later, but my concentration was broken by the overpowering mixture of cheap cologne and cigarette smoke. I wrinkled my nose in disgust before realizing that the horrendous odor belonged to none other than the repulsively unattractive Mike Newton who had taken the empty seat beside me. _Edward's seat. _

He blatantly threw his arm over the back of my seat, the revolting stench increasing and making my stomach squirm. "Sup, Bells?" He popped the 'p' at the end and flashed his most alluring smile, revealing a set of unevenly yellowed teeth. It made me wonder why other people thought he was so mesmeric, and recalled hearing Jessica say that he was good in bed. Not that I would ever want to find out for myself.

I motioned to my work. "Uh-just English homework. It's pretty difficult." I cringed at inability to carry a regular conversation with him. He would probably mistake my disinterest for nervousness.

He sunk in closer, pretending to be roused by British Literature. "Oh, yeah. Shakespeare rocks. Really passe, classy, romantic."

I scooted toward the end of my seat, putting some distance between our bodies. "I guess."

He scratched behind his ear and pulled me back to him so that our faces were only inches apart. "Speaking of, homecoming dance is this Friday, and I was just wondering if you would like to go with, um, me. Would you be into that?" He pulled a yellow rose from out of his jacket pocket and held it before me.

I reached for words, mumbling out several excuses, hardly making any sense. The thought of us paired together the entire night, bodies pressed together as he clumsily whirled me around the room, apology after apology for stepping on my toes, his sweaty palms stroking along my open, bare back...The speculation was agonizing to even consider. No matter what I would say, he would counter back. _I think I'm going to sit this one out. _("It's your senior year. You can't miss it!) _I have a ton of homework I need to catch up on. _("Screw that. I'll get someone to finish it for you.") _I don't know how to dance. _("That's okay. I'll show you.") _It's not really my scene. Plus, somebody might try and spike the punch bowl. I'm trying to cut back on alcohol. _(A blank incredulous stare)

I exhaled, prepared to give in to his invitation. I didn't have a justifiable reason not to go with him, seeing as no one else had (or would, for that matter) ask me. "I'd love to-"

"But she's going with me." An olive skinned hand snatched the rose from Mike's grip and twirled it between two fingers. "Sorry, man."

I turned to the Quilette Indian beside me, Jacob Black-I recognized him from my English class. His presence was welcoming and innocent, a relief compared to Mike's distasteful persona. It was something Alice would have called TTH-or trying too hard. He was far more attractive than Mike as well. His ebony hair was shortly cropped so that it just brushed the tips of his ears and shadowed some of his narrow forehead. His facial features were deep and chiseled into his dark, russet skin, making him look far older than seventeen. His perfect cupid bow lips were curved into a seductive smile, revealing a perfect set of pearly teeth, a flawless contrast to dark countenance. However, it was his eyes that had me enraptured, his pure almond eyes that were the most golden shade of brown, like melting liquid bronze. He was beautiful.

_Almost as beautiful as Edward..._

Jacob nodded to me, silently offering me to play along if I wanted to. "Y-yeah, sorry, Mike," I stuttered. I wasn't a very good liar. "I grabbed a hold of his free hand as if to emphasize my point. They were warm compared to Edward's ice cold, clammy touch. I mentally filed this contrast under _Things I Don't Miss About Edward. _"I'm going with Jake."

His eyes narrowed, searching between the two of us. _He's not buying it..._I panicked but the feel of Jake's lips against my hand caused me to loosen up, to fall back into his body. I wondered if he had ever done this before, or if this kind of scheming came naturally to him. The latter, I assumed.

Mike's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed down his defeat, his lips forming a tight light line. "Oh okay." He stood up from his seat, ignoring my questioning gaze. "Later."

When he was out of earshot, Jake burst into a hearty laughter. "Did you see the look on his face! Priceless!" He removed himself from me, the warm tingly feeling dissipating.

I let out a breathless giggle. "You just saved me. Thank you."

He offered his most sincere smile. "Anytime." His eyes held mine before drifting down to my assignment. "How's it coming?" He adjusted his seat and our knees bumped, his thigh resting against mine he was so close. I felt self-conscious as he began to skim through my side notes. He was one of the best in the class, and had probably breezed through this already.

"You just need to break it down into smaller pieces." I could feel his breath against my face, a warm cinnamon-y aroma. Everything about him was comforting, approachable. "Figure out what each word could represent." He pointed to 'sun' first. "What could that mean?"

I started listing off everything that came to mind: Brightness, wisdom, revelation, knowledge...

He applauded me when I hit the mark, and encouraged me when I missed. This went on for the rest of the lunch period, and for the first time in a long time, I was enjoying myself, enjoying his company, the easiness of what he had to offer. When the bell finally rang for the next class, I found myself slightly resentful, wanting more time.

He re-positioned his back pack on his shoulder before standing to his feet. He towered over me (He had to be at least 6' 7") and I noted the crevices in his shirt, revealing a muscular built underneath. "I'll see you around." He swept his hand along my stomach as if parting with my child, acknowledging that he knew about _him_, pronouncing that he didn't care. He winked at me before heading out the door. It took me a second to recognize that I had been holding my breath the whole time.

* * *

**A/N- And there's your twist, my loves: I introduce you to the glorious Jacob Black. I just had to! You couldn't possibly think that I would let Bella go through this pregnancy without a father figure in the picture, could you? And in all honesty (Don't judge me, Edward lovers), but I have always preferred Jacob a little bit more than Edward (gasp!). But don't fret! The story is not over yet. I have many more surprises in store!**

**Also, I would once again like to encourage all of you to leave your ideas in the drop box below! While I do have a few ideas about where I want to go with this story, I would like to get some more feedback. I've gotten great responses so far. Keep 'em coming.**

**Review! :) **

**x my-wolfee**

**Reviewers get to attend homecoming with Jacob :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N- I have some bad news, my loves. School is starting up next week and that means my schedule is going to be packed between homework, volleyball, and work. But I promise that every free second I get, I will be working up another addition for you guys. Until then, I hope this chapter holds you guys over. More Bella and Jacob action for you! :)**

**And so, ladies and gents, I introduce to you, my longest chapter yet! Enjoy!**

* * *

_He applauded me when I hit the mark, and encouraged me when I missed. This went on for the rest of the lunch period, and for the first time in a long time, I was enjoying myself, enjoying his company, the easiness of what he had to offer. When the bell finally rang for the next class, I found myself slightly resentful, wanting more time._

_He re-positioned his back pack on his shoulder before standing to his feet. He towered over me (He had to be at least 6' 7") and I noted the crevices in his shirt, revealing a muscular built underneath. "I'll see you around." He swept his hand along my stomach as if parting with my child, acknowledging that he knew about him, pronouncing that he didn't care. He winked at me before heading out the door. It took me a second to recognize that I had been holding my breath the whole time._

* * *

_"To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid._

_To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me,_

_ Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death."_

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

* * *

'What do you think you're doing?" Embry pushed me from the rolling chair and onto the floor so he could get a better look at my computer screen.

I cursed beneath my breath after banging my head against the desk "Was that really necessary?" I rubbed at my crown and I could already feel a bruise beginning to form. I'd get him back for that one.

"You're the one to talk." He scrolled down the page, clicking through several windows. I was grateful that he didn't pry as to why I had Google searched all the information I could find on Bella rather than just finding it out for myself. I felt like I was back in the junior high. "Isabella Swan, huh?"Embry pulled me up to my feet, offering me my seat back. I was still phased from being around her, replaying the cute way she bit her lip when she was nervous, the feel of her hand against mine. I had had the opportunity to be with plenty of girls before-it wasn't hard to pick and choose seeing as how desperate most of these girls were at Forks High. But it was obvious to me that Bella would be a completely different situation just by the way she held herself, how she had refused to be unfaithful to Cullen despite the crappy way he treated her, how she kept his baby even without his support. It said a lot about her character.

"She's cute, man. What can I say?" I held my hands up in surrender.

"You think you're gonna go after this one?" His eyes were still glued to the screen, pointing at various tidbits. "She looks like she's got a lot of baggage on her." I pulled up her Facebook profile that seemed to have not been updated in months. It was apparent that she had deleted anything Cullen related off her page, leaving her page basically empty aside from a few birthday wishes from the previous year and a few random status updates.

I shrugged, clicking through the few pictures that she did have. _Damn, she's beautiful._

He gave me a sturdy pat on the back, exhaling a deep sigh. "You know, whatever you chose. I got your back, bro."

"Thanks." I clicked out of the browser before throwing myself onto my bed, staring up at my ceiling. I pensively sorted through the pros and cons of being interested in a girl like Bella Swan. While she was both beautiful and smart, the negatives seemed to outweigh the positives. Choosing to pursue a serious relationship with Bella meant committing to a parental role in her child's life. It meant spending most of our time together sorting through baby clothes and mixing formulas instead of going out with the guys and their girls to catch a drive in movie. It meant sacrificing my time to raise _his _baby.

I shook my head at the thought. It was ridiculous to even contemplate such a scenario after one day's minor events. But it made me curious, eager to figure out more of her. And maybe that's why I was so interested-I wasn't sure what to expect of her next.

He spun the chair around to face me, slyly grinning. "So what's your next move? I hear she works at the diner down by the police station. We could hit up the rest of the guys and grab a bite. Perfect excuse to make an entrance."

I sat up a little bit and looked at him skeptically. "You really think that will work?"

"Worth a shot, right?"

* * *

I stood outside the door at Carver's Cafe , watching as Bella worked her way around the bar counter. As crazy as it sounded, there was something appealing about her work uniform, the dark red apron against her all black attire. I itched nervously at my wrist, slowly working up the nerve to go and talk to her. Seth and Jared, seated in our usual booths in the back, snickered between themselves, probably betting on whether or not I would follow through. Seth would be for me.

_Smooth. You got this. _I paced myself, slowing my breath. I hadn't gone after a girl in a while. Not since Leah Clearwater during sophomore year. To say, I was rusty at making the first move was an understatement. "You chickening out, playa?" Paul laid a sturdy hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, right." I cleared my throat and followed after his lead, squeezing into the vintage booth. _  
_

It was late around eleven o'clock, the evening shift about to come to a close, so the majority of the workers had already gone home, leaving just one chef in the back, Bella waitressing, and a plump blonde woman manning the cash register up front. Half of the tables were already stacked with their chairs and besides the gang, only two other customers were seated in the lobby. I didn't have much time until closing. I'd have to make my move fast.

Our gazes met for an instant from across the room. She looked unsure, but the blonde woman insisted she take our order. _They look like nice guys_, I had heard her say to which Bella rolled her eyes. She tightened her apron as she approached us, annoyance pasted across her face as the guys eyed her obnoxiously. They were going to do their best at making this a big scene.

"What do you guys want?" She asked monotonously and seemingly disinterested.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Quil and Embry kneeing each other from underneath the table, stifling their laughs. "You could take your top off," Quil spouted between laughs.

"And do a little dance for us too." Sam added, pressing at her.

Her body tensed and I could see the anger flaring in her eyes. She ignored them.

"Just an iced tea. Light on the sugar. You're sweet enough, baby." Quil pressed.

Her mouth formed a tight line, glaring at me-probably wondering why I wouldn't speak up. I wanted to punch Quil for wrecking my chances. "Very mature." She commented before strutting off. _Please don't be mad, please don't be mad..._

When she was out of sight, I struck the back of Quil's head. "_What the hell was that?_" I growled at him, keeping my voice low to avoid Bella fromm hearing.

He was apathetic, raising a hand to his heart as if in salutation. "I, my friend, was doing you a favor. Now go up there and apologize to her, and you'll look like the good guy. She won't be able to stay away. Girls are suckers for that kind of stuff."

I didn't oblige.

"I mean, if you're not gonna try and spit your game, then I'll be happy to sub in for you. She's hot." He folded his arms over his chest, tempting me.

I gave in and quickly stood to my feet. "Not a chance," I spat back between gritting teeth. _Here goes nothing._

She pretended not to see me coming and continued to wipe down the counter. "Hey."

"Can't you see I'm busy?" She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her hair.

I tried again and followed Quil's instructions. I realized the insanity of my reasoning. When was the last time Quil had been in relationship? Had he ever even had a girlfriend? "I'm sorry for what those guys were saying. They were just trying to get a good laugh."

'Yeah, it was very funny."

I was quickly running out of things to say. "They were just being guys. You know how it is."

Her head snapped up at me, her eyes burning with defiance. "And that makes it okay?"

"No, I'm not saying-Bella, I just." I grabbed her hand to keep her from walking away. A spark of electricity shot through my body, so vivid I was sure that she felt it too. "I'm sorry." I reached deeper into her eyes, trying to connect with her, to get her to realize my sincerity.

"Just forget it."

"I'll make it up to you."

"Why do you even care? It's not even that big of a deal." She shot back, her hand still intertwined with mine. I couldn't read the expression on her face. I had never been so worried in my life.

The words slipped from my mouth. "I wanna take you out some time."

She was silent for a moment, searching my face. She leaned back casually onto the heels of her feet and pursed her lips before speaking up. "Okay." She clicked her tongue repeatedly as she fiddled for her order taking pad in the slip of her apron. She scribbled down quickly before folding it twice and handing it to me. "Call me some time." She smiled alluringly and grazed a gentle hand along my arm. She had me right where she wanted me-wherever that was.

I nodded in reply, tongue twisted, and smiling far too hard to speak. "Great."

I headed back over to my seat, holding the folded two inch paper between my sweaty palms. I felt like a second grader all over again, as if Mrs. Byrnes had just stamped a golden sticker onto my paper and hung it on the chalkboard in front of the classroom for everyone to see. I wanted to show my prize off to the world. _Mission accomplished. _

I threw the piece of paper onto the center of the table, the boys all scavenging to get a hold of it at once. Seth managed to slip it out of Embry's hands just quick enough to get the first glance. He unfolded it and sat gaping.

_"_Told ya. I still got it." I beamed, confident that I hadn't lost my game.

"Oh, yeah. You got it alright," Seth muttered sarcastically before throwing it back into the center of the table.

Jared snatched it next. He burst out in a hearty laughter. "Yeah! Her dinner bill!"

My eyes grew wide as I grabbed it back hastily. I blinked continuously to make sense of her curvy script. Sure enough, the only number written on the page was the total for a garden salad and soft drink. She played me.

I whipped around towards the window, just in time to catch her sliding into her car. Her gaze met mine, a victorious smirk dancing on her lips. "Thank you," she mouthed and shot me a quick wink before she reversed out of the parking lot.

My heart was racing. I wasn't sure how I felt in that moment. All I knew was that I had never been so attracted to someone in my entire life.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

* * *

The gravel crunched beneath my tires as I rolled into the driveway. I exhaled in satisfaction, picturing the look on Jacob's face when he realized I hadn't given him my number as he had hoped. I laughed quietly to myself at his foolishness, but at the same time, I could feel the butterflies forming in my stomach. When was the last time a guy had truly tried to change my mind for the better?

I practically floated my way into the house that night. Esme was seated beside me on the leather couch in our living room, glasses perched at the edge of her nose. She placed a gentle hand on me knee and pulled a knitted blanket over the two of us. "So today was a good day?" She grinned at me and set her book aside, giving me her undivided attention. She had a healthier glow in the last few months since the baby had been growing. She was the one who had suggested to keep its gender a secret until the due date. She said it made her anxious in the best way possible.

It was difficult to watch her cope with Edward's absence. He hadn't kept in touch with any of us, not even Carlisle, but day after day, the life began to return to her features. She even looked happy. "Yeah, I got asked to homecoming." I covered through all of the details, skimming through Mike's appearance and focusing more on Jake. I, however, caught myself when I realized that Esme was no longer beaming. Somewhere deep down, I knew she still hoped for us, that he would come around.

"Esme, I'm-"

"No, I'm sorry honey," She threw her hands in the air, exasperatedly. "It's just hard to believe that it's all over. Everything that's happened in the last years-it's sometimes more than I can handle."

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Esme never opened up to anyone, even Carlisle. She always seemed to have herself pulled together. Negativity didn't phase her, but rather bounce off her positive aura. She was the strongest woman I had ever met, like fire against ice. She blazed her way through life, leaving nothing but light and reform in her footsteps. But Alice's death had dimmed her flame, tamed the once fierce feminist inside of her, and when Edward left...None of us were sure if she could handle anymore.

The corners of her eyes were wet with tears. "But good things will come out of this. I just know it." She sniffed, the tip of her nose reddening like a brisk winter night. "Edward is a man of his word." Her voice was soft as if she were speaking more to herself than to me. I wasn't sure what she was referring to, but by the way she shifted in her seat, I assumed she didn't wish to clarify, that one day I would find out.

I realized in that moment that Edward hadn't made me any promises or offered me any assurances. He hadn't promised that we would be together in the end nor did he ever really imply that he wished to be with me in the long run. It had been every one else's expectations-_my _expectations. Everyone wanted us together, but was he ever really given the choice? Did he feel obligated or possibly even _forced _because of this baby and everyone's presumptions? Maybe, secretly within himself, this wasn't what he wanted. Maybe I wasn't what he wanted, and this was his only way of his escape?

My thoughts were written all over my face. Esme had no trouble in understanding me; she could read me like an open book. "I could never force anything on him, Bella. I don't want my _son_ to resent me." She stared off at family portrait sitting above the fireplace mantle, one that had been taken before I had entered the picture, before Renee left her burden to her closest friend. She didn't press further, but I read deeper into her words: I wasn't blood; I would never mean as much to her as her own children. She would do anything for him, even if that meant negotiating my prosperity. However, though marred by the matter, I didn't have the right to be upset. It was simple rationality.

"So tell me more about this Jacob."

* * *

**A/N- Looks like Jacob and Bella's relationship is heating up a little more. You think it's time she drop Edward and move on? We'll see!**

**And for all you, Team Edward. I have a little surprise coming up for you in the next couple chapters. You haven't seen the last of him, I promise.**

**I had gotten a lot of questions concerning Esme and Carlisle: Why aren't they stopping him? How could they let him do this to Bella? Well, there you have it-they don't want to force him to do anything even if it means risking their relationship with Bella. Do you understand their point of view on the matter? Drop a comment in the box below :) I love hearing from you guys. You're all so sweet. **

**x my-wolfee**

**Jacob thinks the most attractive attribute of a girl is when she speaks her mind. Leaving me a nice little review would make him want you so bad right now ;) Do it. Give in to the temptation. **


	8. Chapter 7

**N- You know what I just love, LOVE, L O V E?! When you guys give me your feedback, especially your questions. It really helps me out and it just gets my brain juices flowing. You have no idea how much you all have inspired me. You've given me new insight on this story and I'm so excited to continue! Thank you! You've helped me through my stump.**

**Also, a lot of people have been begging me to include Edward's POV, but I just can't do it! Not yet, anyways. Be patient! He'll be coming around sooner or later! I won't say when though!**

**Be patient.**

**Thanks for following :) You guys rockkk!**

**Disclaimer: Better late than never, but I forgot to mention that the quotes used before the story are also not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. Thanks for the inspiration.**

* * *

_My thoughts were written all over my face. Esme had no trouble in understanding me; she could read me like an open book. "I could never force anything on him, Bella. I don't want my son to resent me." She stared off at family portrait sitting above the fireplace mantle, one that had been taken before I had entered the picture, before Renee left her burden to her closest friend. She didn't press further, but I read deeper into her words: I wasn't blood; I would never mean as much to her as her own children. She would do anything for him, even if that meant negotiating my prosperity. However, though marred by the matter, I didn't have the right to be upset. It was simple rationality._

_"So tell me more about this Jacob."_

* * *

_"In order to fly you have to create space in the open air so that your wings can really_

_spread out. It's like a parachute. They only work from a high altitude. To fly you have to begin_

_taking risks. If you don't want to, maybe the best thing is just to give up, and keep walking forever."_

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

* * *

Half a dozen roses felt heavy in my sweaty palm as I scanned through the sea of people swarming the hallways. I leaned casually against Bella's locker which to my dismay had been appropriately placed less than six lockers down from Mike Newton's. He sneered at me for my derivative attempt at Bella's affection, his nostrils flaring. I mentally indicated the differences in our approaches both in color and abundance. He had only a single, yellow rose to offer. I, on the other hand, had six, but also went with a more subtle advance in color, and picked white-forward yet modest-and certainly contrasted to the customary scarlet red that Edward would pull magically pull out of thin air. _Stay classy, _he would advise his worshipers after boasting on his feminine catch of the day.

I had only ever had two serious girlfriends-both of which had been Edward's castoffs and one of which is hardly worth mentioning because of our young age, but I had put her in the honorary category because I had slept with her more than once. (And I consider myself to be the type of person to only continuously sleep with people I am either incredibly devoted to or undoubtedly in love with.) But despite my Edward-shadowed appeal, I had been on plenty of dates and had my fair share of one night stands. I had been confident in my devices until I met Bella. She had me hanging by a thread.

I didn't look up, but I could hear the squeak of her wet heels slowing as she cantered toward me. She clicked her tongue and eyed me curiously. We stood silently before each other, my heart beating against the walls of my chest. She looked perplexed yet pleasantly surprised. "What is this?"

I whipped the flowers from behind my back and revealed my date plans for this Saturday night. We would make a quick appearance at the dance and enjoy a few refreshments before I escorted her to a eloquent restaurant in Port Angeles. My father had actually been the one to recommend it, seeing as it had been where he had proposed to my mother long years ago. _The place works magic, _he had commented after telling me about the fancy live music and five star quality. He had even assured reservations although the place was usually packed and required bookings weeks in advance for twenty minutes in the less charming booths near the bathrooms.

"No thanks." She gently pushed be aside, avoiding my gaze.

I stood gaping. "I pulled a lot of strings. I-"

"Was I not _blatant_ enough for you? I'm not interested." She growled. "You're not my type."

"Why do you have to be like that?" I pressed.

She continued to fumble with the books in her locker, one hand holding her stomach. The baby bump seemed bulky and out of place adjoined to her petite figure. It was hard to believe she still had months to go. I wasn't sure how much bigger she could get. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I grabbed her wrist with my open hand, forcing her to look at me. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Pretending like you don't give a crap." I cringed at the harshness in my voice. "I just thought...the other day..." And that's when her eyes finally met mine, and I felt my entire body sink into hers. I saw the pain she had endured, losing Alice, being abandoned by Edward. For a split second, I carried the weight of her fatherless child, the reminisce of being unwanted by her own parents. I felt sick.

She dropped her gaze down at our feet. "Jake..."

The bell rang, but neither of us moved as our classmates hurried to their destinations. "One night, Bella. It's all I'm asking." I kept my voice low, intimate as Paul had coached me the night before. Our faces were only inch apart, her lips looming so close to mine. I held back. "One night and if you don't enjoy yourself then you'll never have to see me again. Just give me a chance." I was close to getting on my knees and begging, but my limbs had gone numb from just being around her. I had never been so nervous in my life.

She strained to loosen her composure and took several stiff breaths before answering. "Okay." It was all she offered, but I was too grateful for words that I didn't press further.

I held the bouquet up to her. "They're my favorite, you know." She smiled breathtakingly, receiving them. She quietly thanked me before heading off to class, leaving me in my dazed state. _Maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought..._

I had never associated myself with Edward Cullen though our paths did often cross. We were both at the top of our class, constantly battling it out for the highest rank. Intelligence came naturally to him, a product of having a gifted neurologist as a father and a naturally perspicacious mother, while I spent hours at the library, cramming pages and pages of knowledge into my already thick skull. He flew through high school, claiming various awards and scholarships along the way. His teachers especially adored his equal commitment to both his school work and extra curricula-and it didn't hurt that he was the best looking in the school either, another genetic inheritance that his family miraculously seemed to breed.

He ran Forks High with a wave of his hand, a trait he hadn't fully embraced until the death of his sister, and Bella had always been his faithful companion. Together they reigned as the most desired couple however though an unlikely pair. She dulled in comparison to him. Her looks were far inferior to his obvious perfection, and her precocity was lacking though she was certainly above average in both. But he brought a certain brightness to her unilluminated world. She thrived in his popularity and found brashness in his egotism. He was the air she subsisted on.

But the truth of the matter was that he didn't need her as much as she needed him. The reality allowed a certain shallowness in their relationship, something I felt could be easily divided, and it proved unmistakable the day he had walked into psychology class with a fiery red head draped about his arm, the first public indicator that he had no serious intentions of dwelling in his childhood relationship. _Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die, _he had opted for as his yearbook quote and proudly proclaimed as his life mantra. _  
_

I had watched him painlessly rush through a handful of girls, some with which he only stayed with for a matter of hours before moving on to the next. My sister, Rachel, had been a victim of his shameless game, and when I had asked her of her vulnerability, she merely shook her head and told me she had been wondering the same thing. There was a definite charm about him, like the voice of a siren; it effortlessly sucked in its desired prey and once they had been hooked, it was too late for turning back. They were slaves to whatever his desire.

Regardless, Bella was in love with him and would continue to do so until her heart stopped beating. It was evident in the way she presented herself: how she still sat at _their _table though others rarely joined her; How she sometimes came to school wearing one of his old sweatshirts that he had given her during brisk winter nights; how there was still a picture of him hanging in her locker; how she kept _his _baby.

Her obsession-I refused to straightforwardly call it love considering the circumstances-made me question my pursuit. Would I ever be able to change her mind?

* * *

**Bella's POV**

* * *

Senior year. It's the year when everybody starts to notice you. Peers start to look up to you. No longer are you at the bottom of the food chain; you're finally one of the predators, free to demand as you please. Colleges finally begin to admire your outstanding intellect throughout the years. They acknowledge the standardized history test you aced your freshmen year, the same one everyone else scorned you for. In their eyes, you're finally worth something. It's when all the older guys are suddenly attracted to you, the same ones you've been crushing on for years but laughed at you because you were jail bait. They complement your eyes, excusing their absence in noticing because they had never _truly _seen before. All of a sudden, your 32B cotton bras aren't so childish anymore. _They want you for your inner beauty_(that they had failed to realize before you turned eighteen). It's when your parents truly start to care for you because they know that within months, you will be completely out of their reach. They focus all their attention on you, spotlighting all your achievements, ones that would have gone unrecognized albeit your age.

And as contradictory as it sounds, I would give anything to have that. I would love to be limelighted. Not for the bulging lump on my stomach, but for me.

Rosalie tugged endlessly at the flowy material, trying as best she could to conceal my pregnant stomach. I pushed her hand aside and pinned the cloth directly underneath my belly. If anything, it enhanced the roundness. She lifted a perfect plucked brow at me. I wasn't going to hide _him. _I wanted Jacob to know exactly what he was getting himself into, and that I was proud to be a single teen mother. _Or at least I could pretend to be..._

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**__A/N- I know it's really short you guys, but I haven't been able to update because my laptop broke. I have to use my parents and I don't like them reading over my shoulder. But this is my promise to you guys, I will never go so long without updating again. My plan is to update more regularly, but with shorter chapters like this. What do you think?**

**Thanks for the patience:)**

**-my_wolfee**


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